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​“You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit.” - Oscar Wilde

“There is safety in reserve, but no attraction. One cannot love a reserved person.” ― Jane Austen

Yesterday was wonderful. There were very sad moments but it finally hit me that he's really gone and now I can start to heal. My eulogy was the hardest speech I've ever had to give. I know it was hard for many people to hear as most of the other speakers gave funny annecdotes but Joe was someone who tried to teach me to really feel my emotions and so in a way I hope I showed him what I leaned. He would tell me not to hide from the pain, feeling means that you're alive and that's a great thing to be. Following the ceremony there was dinner at his parents house at which I did the best friendly duty of sitting at the foot of the stairs guarding his room like a bulldog so no one would snoop around. Later, we all went blues dancing and that really lifted my spirits. I tried to bring back to the venue what was lost when Joe left us, a little bit of silly, some sexy, and a lot of sweat. The place was packed with all the best dancers in the area and we had a blast. I will miss my friend dearly and curse the people who robbed the world of him too soon but at least he was here and at least he was my friend. I'm better for loving and for losing.  

Thank you to everyone of my followers for being so supportive and understanding during this very difficult time for me (especially during random emo moments on live cam shows!). It has meant the world to me to hear all of your kind words.  

Here is a video of a friend and myself blues dancing after Joe's memorial... bringing the sexy.